The next step...

When Lou was 18 months old, we noticed something.  She was very talkative, energized, happy and active. She danced and she singed and she seemed to think the world was her stage. But only when she was at home.

At first, Lou only talked to me and DH.  A few months later she branched out to Grandparents.  DH and I are close with both of our families and get together a lot.  Lou often took several hours to warm up in social settings and wouldn't speak to any other uncles, aunts or cousins.  Over the past few years, her branches of whom she can comfortably speak with has lengthened, but the battle is just beginning.

When Lou was 2-3, she had a series of severe panic attacks. The first happened at the doctors office at her 2 year checkup. It was like she was horrifically terrified. I had never seen her act like that before.  When she started preschool a few months later, they started happening more often.  She wouldn't speak to anyone outside the family, and even then, those whom she would speak with still remained small.  I knew something wasn't right.  My pediatrician said she was 'just shy'. But I knew something much deeper resided in Lou's reasoning for not speaking.

I did some research and came across Selective Mutism.  I knew instantly this is what Lou suffered from.  Over the past 18 months, I tried to find help, but couldn't find anyone who really knew anything about it.  Selective Mutism is similar to the case of Autism in children 10-15 years ago.  Parents knew something was wrong, but doctors weren't sure or gave a different diagnosis and treatment altogether.

With Lou starting Kindergarten, my desperation for more answers became every day worry.  Lou is extremely bright. She's smart, she's incredibly observant and she is just plain old fun.  But it is a Lou that few people get to see.  The effects of school with people who have SM can be catastrophic if not handled carefully.  I felt that it was with the upmost caution and thought that I chose what school she should attend and how the school and teacher could best help her. 

So, we start on our next step.  Lou has not yet been officially diagnosed. I have not known where to go to get her help.  But, (and I thank my lucky stars) I have met another mother whose child also suffers from SM and has pointed me in the direction of getting Lou the help she needs.  It will be a long road.  It has been a long road.  But I look forward to it with hope and faith that we can help her and I am glad to be able to finally not carry this burden alone.  The video below is a 20/20 special on 2 kids who suffer from SM.  It is as if they have filmed our lives, as this is exactly the same story we carry.  I hope that those who often interact with Lou can watch this and gain some understanding of why she may not talk to them at times (or not at all).  And I hope that should any parent wondering should stumble upon this post, that it will help them because I know how it feels to have no answers.