I'm not usually up at 5 A.M. But my neighbors dog has decided to (yet again) greet the morning by letting all of us know that he is awake and well, and apparently motivated to start the day; because he hasn't stopped barking at all. What it must be like to wake up with that kind of motivation!
As for me and myself, 'I do not like it, Sam I am. I do not like dogs that bark at 5 AM!'
And so, while I sit here trying to block him out, I decide to share with you the latest in my mommy life.
Each week on Monday evening, we hold what is called "Family Home Evening". This is a time set apart each week to spend as a family. Sometimes we talk about the Gospel. Sometimes we talk about family matters (like how as cool as Transformers are, they don't go in the toilet. For. Whatever. Reason.). Sometimes we do the kids favorite game, which is "Tricks!" This entails the kids showing us all their new tricks--from cool jumps, to somersaults to dancing. We had "Tricks!" night last month, and I decided to share one of Mommy's cool tricks. Their called when-I-was-younger-I-could-do-this-as-easily-as-walking tricks. I decided to bring out the big guns and do a toe touch. That will shock them all! But sadly, not only did I not touch my toes in my toe-touch, I pulled my Hammie and couldn't walk for two days. Thus,
So Monday I decided to talk about the danger of strangers. We live in an ideal neighborhood. It's my little slice of Heaven. Quiet streets, friendly neighbors and even big trees. Every neighborhood with big trees is just awesome. I trust it. But I guess that even the best of neighborhoods can have someone sneaky sneak in.
And so I sat my little chitlins down and told them we would be taking about something very important. I asked them if they knew what a stranger was. "Dangerous!!" yelled Tater-tot.
Sa-wheet! This lesson will be cake! Don't remember ever teaching Stranger Danger, but hey, I'll go with that!
"Why are strangers dangerous?"
"Because," answered the three year old, "they blow fire at people and the have volcanoes on top of their cars!"
Hmm....not quite what I was taught. Now, not that having fire-throwing-volcano-ridden strangers would be cool--but hey, they would be easy to point out. Am I right? That'd be kind of nice. I explain to little children that strangers are dangerous because they may try to hurt you or steal you. And they just drive regular cars--though they are stereotyped to drive white vans. We move on.
"What do strangers look like?" I asked inquisitively.
"Skeletons!" yells the 4 year old, "with beards!"
Again, not something I want to see walking down the street, but man, it'd be *really* easy to stay away from strangers on these terms! Where in the world did they hear this stuff?? It's at this point that I realize that maybe this won't be cake after all. I try to explain to them all the things that I think there little brains can take in before getting distracted. Then the recap. After explaining everything, I remind them again:
"Now, we don't talk to strangers. We don't go up to them or over to their cars unless Mommy or Daddy says that it is okay and can watch you. They may even try to trick you and tell you they have candy, but you shouldn't go to them."
"Now, we don't talk to strangers. We don't go up to them or over to their cars unless Mommy or Daddy says that it is okay and can watch you. They may even try to trick you and tell you they have candy, but you shouldn't go to them."
Tater-tot perks up at that thought. "Yes I can. I will go and take their candies, and then I'll bite them and I'll hit them and my dinosaur will come and eat them. And then I'll 'hoo-cha' them!" (If you are wondering what 'Hoo-Cha' is, it's Tater-tot's version of a Karate Kid action. He's pretty good!) He gets up and starts kicking the air. And then "Tricks!" begins and Stranger Danger ends.
And I end Family Home Evening wondering. Wondering if it sunk in at all. Wondering if I have prepared them for the cruel world that is outside my doorstep. And wondering if I might be able to get a stranger to come steal the neighbors dog.
Kidding!
Sort of.
